What I ate in Taiwan

Hello Kitty Sweets Cafe

Part 2 of the Theme duo:
 
Taiwan = Totally obsessed with Hello Kitty. 
Case and Point: The Hello Kitty Sweets Cafe. 

So, apparently I'm kind of a sucker for theme restaurants. That's probably obvious given that I've been to Tokyo Alcatraz ER about 50 times. There's just something about the silliness of it all that I find charming. And speaking of charming, today's themed feature is the Hello Kitty Sweets Cafe in Taipei.

It was a very hard decision for me to come here in the first place. There are many wonderful restaurants in Taipei, and street food is to-die-for...so how did I end up at a cheesy cafe? I'm still wondering that myself.  Growing up in rural Texas, perhaps I was deprived of Hello Kitty as a child, so I sought to relive my girlhood fantasies of being surrounded by all things pink and cute. Whatever the reasons are, I found myself in Da'an using Taipei's free mobile wifi (which I heard since is no more...?) to look up directions to the cafe from the metro station.

But with that giant Hello Kitty face out front, what was the point.

Upon entering, one is greeted with a glass case of fried and cream-filled Hello Kitty heads served on gold trays. (Talk about morbid, this place could outdo Alcatraz). After speaking with the host, you may be lead upstairs (as we were) to a restaurant-styled seating area. I was surprised to see mostly adults this time. I had expected it to be riddled with seven-year-old girls, but on this afternoon it was mostly young couples.

The waitress explained how the menu and ordering system works in Chinese. Between the two of us (my friend being Japanese, and me being American), we didn't understand at all. We interpreted it to be something like, you have to spend $100 NTD on a drink to order a cake for another $300, which seemed  like it would make for an expensive lunch. Turns out we were totally wrong. It was something like, if you spend $300 on a cake, you  get $100 off a drink. What a nice surprise that was when we went to pay.

My friend was surprised to see men working here...

My friend ordered a delicious tiramisu, and I got a green tea cake. Both desserts were soft, just slightly sweet, and very photogenic.
Despite being a themed restaurant, the food was actually quite good. I expected it to be overpriced, and it was, but I did not expect the desserts to be prepared so lavishly, which they were, and taste so good, which they did.

Friend's tiramisu tray

Tiramisu kitty

Everything on this plate was edible.

I ordered a strawberry float with ice cream and a red ice Hello Kitty sculpture. The red ice was kind of creepy actually. It reminded me of an ice sculpture I once saw that was made entirely out of the frozen blood of the sculptor. Hehe, didn't think you'd be reading about frozen blood on a Hello Kitty Sweets cafe blog post, did ya?

Blood Kitty

I totally match the decor in all black with a rosary

Hello Kitty pudding head

Alcatraz ER: Tokyo

Once upon a time in Tokyo, my then-partner took me to a place which was described to me as "interesting." At that point, I had already been in Tokyo off and on for the past three years, so I was not about to get all giggly and surprised over some cheesy Japanese tourist experience. I told my partner that I had seen a lot of "interesting" stuff in Japan, so this better exceed expectations.

We called together a groups of friends to meet at this restaurant in Shibuya. About half of us met at Hachiko (the famous dog statue outside of Shibuya station) and walked together.  I can't even describe how we got there. Street names, addresses and landmarks are all meaningless in this neck of the woods.

After we arrived another friend called from the station asking for directions. I handed the phone to a Japanese friend who stayed on the line for a minute before hanging up and somehow my friend arrived at the restaurant in five minutes. Unbelievable. There is nothing I could have said that would have gotten her here.

as cheesy as you wanna be

Actually, there is probably one thing I could have said: Alcatraz ER. That's the name of the place, and it is legendary in Tokyo. The space is set up like a jail, with cells and handcuffs, but there staff are all doctors and nurses, so that's where the ER theme comes in. Strange combo, a little goofy, a little sexist, but a whole lot of fun.

Upon entering, you must input your blood type, which is really so Japanese. Most Americans  probably don't even know their own blood type. After that you are greeted by two sexy nurses, who will give you a fake shot (like a vaccination, not a drink) before handcuffing you and leading you into a cell.

bathroom

dining area

While in the cell, everyone is seated on the floor, which is pretty normal for Japanese people, but can get uncomfortable for a westerner. The cell is fully enclosed to give the illusion that you are in a jail, but it's not locked (uh, that would be a fire hazard). To order, you must bang your stick on the bars on of the cell just like in old prison movies.  Every hour, the power goes out and there is a "prison break" where one crazy inmate escapes and tries to climb into your cell and scare you.

typical cell for two

The cast

Rounding up the inmates

The long hallway

The best part about this place though, it the menu. When I first went here years ago, they had a very limited food menu, but have since improved. The highlight of the experince, however, is their wacky drink selection.

All the drinks are really something unique in presentation. Some come in a baby bottle, others are served to you in a test tubes. The downside is, as with all cocktails in Japan, they are weak as shit. I have to knock back forty of them just to get a solid buzz going, and this place isn't cheap. Still there are not many places in the world where you get to stir your drink with a dildo.So, for that, it is totally worth it.

Some of my favorites:

alcohol in a baby bottle

flask from a science experiment

test tube drinks

This drink was called, "Precum"