Monday, July 31, 2017

Isafjordur Diaries Day 2

11:00 sunrise in Isafjordur

I am writing in the same location and at almost the exact same time as yesterday. I did not have the strength to write any more last night, after I got the news that our flight was cancelled. The text came just after we set our bags down at the library. I immediately panicked and sat in a corner and cried. So much for the library experience for me.
I spent the next few hours at the hotel room strategizing and preparing myself mentally to stay here one more night. We left the house again at 4:00pm only to get groceries at the store and pick up Thai takeout. I then slept from 5:00pm until might. Awaking for a brief few hours to watch TV and eat the leftover Thai food.
I have never met a darkness like this. It seduced me to sleep. It is bewitching. I slept with it. Awaking at 10:00am today. When I see the darkness, I don’t want to go outside. I want to hide from it in my dreams. Last night was a terrible loud wind. It frightened me.
I had a dream last night that we were at the airport waiting for our flight. As we waited, a plane landed. I thought it was our Air Iceland flight and I was overjoyed that we would be leaving. But it was a private jet. I wondered what I could do to talk the owner into taking us with him. It turned out that I knew not only the owner but also the pilot, perhaps from previous dreams. The pilot was a rugged Icelander with a beard, and the owner was a clean-shaven dark haired man. We caught up on old time, we hugged, we flirted, I wanted them to take us with them, out of this place.
When I awoke at 5:00am I was happy. My dream had calmed me. But then the wind picked up. I know now that I can sleep to any sound, be it boisterous conversations or train announcements, or snoring, or the television, but I cannot sleep to the sound of raging wind. This wind shredded through buildings and tore holes in the sky.
I could not write. I could not sleep. I could do nothing.
I asked myself:
When is the time to write and when is the time to live?
When is the time to write and when is the time to feel?
When is the time to write and when is the time to experience?
Had a total mental breakdown this morning. Complete with shaking and crying and hyperventilating into a towel. Even now I am not completely calm. I am anxiously awaiting confirmation that our flight will leave. Once I know it will leave, then everything will be alright with me. Then I will be able to write again.
- November 27th, Husid in Isafjordur, 11:58am

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